So, last night as I was doing my run, and getting sicker with each step, feeling my throat become scratchier by the second, I decided to let my mind wander on to other things to pretend like I wasn't coming down with something. This did not work out well, as the first thing I noticed was that, in the Western suburbs of Darien, Westmont, Downers Grove and Woodridge, no one plows the streets. Apparently, there was a union meeting, and they just decided they weren't going to plow for the entire winter. I was running on streets, where it had not snowed for over 16 hours, yet, the streets were replete with snow drifts, slush, and the obvious tire spin outs. I knew I should have never given up my city job.
Then I started to think about the group run I was going to have to bail on for this Sunday, as I knew I was not feeling well. As I thought about it, I started casting my mind back(thanks Phil Liggett), to some of my other group "training" runs/rides. We have all been there, but I think its time we started to recognize how ridiculous all of us can be when we get together.
The premise is always innocent enough, in fact, its actually clouded in some sort of, "this will be fun!" banter, using words like, "long and steady" to describe the pace, a way to break up the monotony of solo training. And so it begins. You start packing your bag the night before, all excited to be outside with your friends, training together, like a Pro Tour Cycling team, out for a ride. You set your alarm for a weekend morning, and you jump up, have some coffee, load the car and head out, anxious for what the day will bring.
Then you arrive, and all of you are huddled together, ready to start, with more than one person giving that bullshit reminder,"Now, everyone, we are all going easy. This is a long run/ride, and its not a race, this is training. So let's have fun." That's like telling a crack addict, "now look, I know there is all this crack around you, and its free, but, don't smoke it, its bad for you." Are you kidding me? Inevitably, what happens? Some Alpha gets bored, or is out to show thier fitness, and BAM!, the race is on. Soon, that 13 mile run, that you were supposed to do in Zone 1-2, has been pitched for a hang on and pray, at zone 5, with your eyes bulging, and ending with dehydration and heavy legs. The group gets fragmented, a few people trickling in at a time, all with that same look of, "Why did I agree to this? I am totally shot. This is so stupid. I hate everyone here. All these people suck. I am never doing this again." Sometimes, after the group catches thier collective breath, finger pointing begins, accusations start to fly, only to be carried on all week in email rants. Until, the next week comes, and you, like an alzheimer's patient, forget all about the last group workout, and head back out.
Don't get me wrong, I am in favor of doing some group workouts. And yes, in order to get faster or stronger, you need to train with faster people. But, training does not mean racing. Now, our sport is dominated by Alphas, and I admit to being one myself. I am not innocent of pushing the pace on a group run or ride, and have paid the price. But, I am admitting it, and like they say, that's half the battle. I recall a few years ago, right around this time, a group of us were doing long runs, 2 hours plus, and every run started out the same, harmless for 5 minutes, then tempo pace, then, a constant effort to drop the weaker runners, as if some golden calf was waiting at the end of the run. I was lucky enough to not get injured or over-train, but some were not so lucky. And what did it prove, besides the fact that we were all stupid?
The thing is, being Billy or Bessie Bad Ass in training, doesn't get you a medal. Being the fittest or fastest guy in your training circle is great if it translates into race wins. Otherwise, you become the pain in the ass of the group. Trust me on this, I have done it. I have a friend that I run with on occassion, and every run, usually turns out with us racing each other in nasty conditions, on horrible trails, and feeling absolutely dead by the end. And we always promise each other, we won't do it next time. Of course, until the next time.
If you are fast, people will know - because we will see you race fast. You don't need to show the world how fast you can run the Wednesday night 4 mile fun run in under 24 minutes. We get it. You have talent. Unfortunately, showing it off on Wednesday, doesn't leave you with much for race day. Instead of beating on each other, let's try to work together on those group workouts, and I bet you will see everyone get faster, and not hate the few who always cause the split. You know who you are. And yes, everyone is talking about you, and they have nothing nice to say. Here's your clue, if finish a workout, and you are standing alone, while everyone else is filing into the parking lot or wherever, glaring at you, or, even pointing at you, its not because they admire you, they are secretly hoping you don't show up next week. You are the one who doesn't get invited to breakfast of coffee afterwards. Think about it.
So, enjoy your group workouts. Just remember, when everyone is making post-workout plans and you aren't included in the conversation, maybe you want to re-think today's pace.
