Normally, I would start out my post with a quote from one of my favorite writers, heroes, or a quote from someone that has had a profound impact on my life. But as the year, and the decade for that matter has turned, I have spent the last few days reflecting on 2009 but more importantly looking towards this season and more importantly this year as a whole.
This isn't uncommon amongst athletes or the general public. But what I was wondering was what exactly made me forget resolutions from years past and fall back into the same routine, forgetting all the promise I would see on each New Year's day, slipping back into old habits, never progressing? Well this year I realized what had been missing - wisdom from a loved one before the New Year. A reminder of where my roots are from and why there is always reason to hope and to follow the dreams and goals of a new year.
So on Christmas day, normally spent with family or loved ones my family does what several others do every holiday, reminisce about the ones we have lost who have had a profound impact on our lives. But this year, after dinner, I sat next to my grandmother, who gave me a deep insight into Guy Petruzzelli, her husband, and my grandfather. My namesake. This was a man, an immigrant who loved his family and spent his years in Chicago working on the famed South Water Market, a true scene straight out of a Damen Runyan novel. He and the other cast of characters were all from the same stock; immigrants from all corners of Europe, full of stories and superstitions, hope and drive, who believed that they were not just truck drivers or fruit and vegetable vendors. No, these men were also doctors, lawyers, accountants, you name it, they knew it. It didn't matter if there formal education never exceeded 4th grade, they were sure they could cure whatever ailed you, even if it was a broken bone, without needing to go to a silly hospital or a real doctor. And it was out of this environment that my grandfather displayed what I wryly refer to as "The Guy Petruzzelli ridiculous optomism". This will take some explanation but bear with me.
My grandfather was infamous for doing things that defied logic, that defied common sense, and left those around him puzzled beyond belief. Example, at the market, my grandfather would trade with other vendors for pigs, chickens and the occassional turkey. And, b/c he didn't drive, he would be seen walking home, down Taylor Street, with a pig, or a chicken, with a string tied around its neck as if it was his pet. Now, my grandfather didn't know how to kill or dress any of these animals, but he believed, that somehow, when he got home, it would work out, and his family would have food. Of course, my grandmother didn't share this same optomism, as she would be at the front door looking at my grandfather with his latest pet, and a look that said, "What the Hell am I supposed to do with that?" To which my grandfather responded with his infamous look, that I too possess. The look that says, "what the hell is wrong with you? This seems fine to me." That look would become a source of undeniable frustration and a constant stream of laughter for all around. I know this, b/c I give that same look.
That story is not enough? Check these little gems out - At the age of 13, with never having taken a lesson to drive a car, he jumped in his uncle's new car, and drove it straight into a street car, an accident in which he walked away unscathed. When asked what he was thinking, he simply gave "the look" and life went on, and he never drove again. As an adult, he was at a public pool watching his friends jump in the deep end and having a blast. So, he stepped to the edge of the deep end and jumped in and immediately sank to the bottom. Why? B/c he had no idea how to swim. But he figured, just like with the car, once he got in, it would work out. As the lifeguards dragged him out, asking him if knew what he was doing, he simply stated, no, but he didn't think it could be all that difficult. Ridiculous optomism at its best.
But the crown jewel of stories took place when my grandfather was living on California Ave,. on Chicago's Southside, and a big rain storm hit the city during the heat of summer. At this time, my grandparents basement flooded, but the basement was unfinished, a simple concrete floor with drains, that my grandfather figured would eventually stop being overloaded and take the water down. Seeing things were somewhat under control, he proceeded to turn on his METAL tv set, standing water still in the basement, his feet comfortably set in the water and electricity running power the tv right in front of him, as smoked a cigar. When my grandmother arrived an hour later, with my father in tow, They found him, comfortably sitting in a lawn chair, tv still on, his feet still in water. This is where my grandmother and father looked at my grandfather in the same fashion as they had so many times before - "Are you absolutely out of your mind?! What is wrong with you?" And all they received in return was that look, a look that said "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? What's the big deal, everything is under control." And as always, he was right.
Our family has several memories like this of my grandfather and all of them create laughter and a sense of awe. My grandmother believes that my grandfather had no concept of fear, which is true, and that he just wasn't thinking things through all the time. To me though, there was something more. I know it b/c I live my life pretty much the same way, doing things that make people close to me believe I am insane or delusional. And neither is the case. What my grandfather and I share is that ridiculous optomism, that sense that no matter the odds or the logic, things will work out. And in those hours on Christmas night, as we laughed at stories of him, I recognized that what carried him through life, and helped him raise a family, was the belief that somehow, no matter the odds, if you believed enough in what you were doing, it would work out. He wasn't shackled by fear, or logic, and its not that he didn't acknowledge it, far from it. But he knew to get to a better life, to get his family in a better place, he had to have that sense of optomism. And what I realize as I write this, is that I do the same. I see fear, I see logic, but I'm of the opinion that if you believe enough in what you are doing, its going to work out. Things will get better, life will improve, and in the world of sport, you can improve, you can faster, and you can reach your goals if you truly believe.
So when I headed out yesterday to do my long run in the bitter cold, on a snow and ice covered trail, I didn't ignore the looks of people who thought me insane or stupid. I just gave them the infamous "Petruzzelli look" back at them saying with my eyes - "What the hell is wrong with you? This is the way I know to get faster, to get stronger. This run will work out just fine." And before I was even finished, I knew it would. With a smile on my face I looked upward, and said thanks. The Black Sheep was not alone in the cold yesterday. And with that optomism, I know 2010 is going to be epic. No matter the odds or logic. I wish the same for all of you in this New Year.
Guy
