Me, in the recovery room after surgery last monday - "So, doctor, this is a rather extensive list of things I "can't" do. Where is the list of the things I "can" do?"
Doctor - "Walk"
Me, muttering to myself, "Wow, there's a good chance I might actually commit a hate crime soon."
So yes, surgery took place last Monday, June 28, and it was doozy, from what I was told. I've got some nice hardware in me, and will probably be staring down the barrel of a sweet scar once the incision point is healed. And while I am healing and going through physical therapy, to keep some semblance of aerobic fitness, I am allowed to do the one thing endurance athletes despise - walk.
Don't be fooled by the Michelob Ultra commercials, depicting these weekend warriors who love to run up stairs in heels instead of taking the elevator, smiling and happy. This is a complete lie. The one thing I, and several of my peers hate is walking. And walking stairs is considered a form of torture. Read "Lance Armstrong's War" for a more in-depth understanding as to the real agony of walking and walking stairs. I mean I will literally try to find ways to avoid walking at all costs. Escalators, elevators, chair lifts, hell even one of those scooters you see people at the mall in, I'm all for it. I've seriously considered knocking an elderly person out of one of those things so I could use it to get around.
And why? Its not out of laziness, let me assure you that. You are talking about people who would rather run 75-80 miles a week, ride 300 miles a week and swim close to 12 miles a week, than walk to the mailbox. Laziness doesn't even factor in. We don't like it b/c it hurts. It hurts to walk after a workout or just to go for a stroll. I don't know all the physiological reasons why, but it does. And I think mentally we know, there is a faster way - run or bike to your destination. So, I am left with walking, bad tv, and the LeBron saga. If it wasn't for the Tour, I'm not sure I'd be staying this sane.
So, I've been walking. And it isn't any cooler if you walk on a trail or the street. Trust me. I don't care if you have the greatest playlist in the world cranking, you are still walking, and it still sucks. But today, while I was walking, I realized something. At least I can walk to stay fit. As banged up as I am, I still have the ability to walk, to move my legs, to get fresh air. And with that thought, my feet felt a bit lighter, and my mood brightened.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I have now fallen in love with walking, but I am grateful I still can. But the minute someone tells me I should walk stairs, I can not be held liable for my actions. The phrase alone raises violent feelings inside me. See you at the elevator.
Stay strong,
Guy
