Hello all!
This week's post delves into something that we discuss frequently, whether its with guests, or among ourselves. The importance of being able to thrive in a state of chaos; to not only accept it, but learn from it and grow in that state. The question we often get is, how exactly do I do that? How do I not allow my fear to control my daily actions? Below is an outline as to things I've done, and continue to do in order to understand and appreciate the uncertainty we face.
I started with a simple premise - N=1. A scientific experiment where I am the experiment. I am testing, on a daily basis, my ability to withstand all things and grow. I had to take the approach of day to day; I didn't want to project out as it could blur my vision to what was happening right in front of me. Which led me to the next step.
Be present in this fucking moment. We've heard this a million times, so much so that its white noise. Except it isn't. Its a more powerful statement than we want to admit. Why? Because we struggle with actually staying in the moment we're in. We have become more easily distracted than a squirrel. Countless hours on social media or mindless apps consume us. They rob of us of precious time that we cannot get back. Let me repeat that - the 2 hours you spend checking to see if your ex, your friend, your training partners, your favorite athlete, celebrity, etc, cannot be retrieved and relived. The time is gone. I was actually on to this concept several years ago when my then girlfriend had me watch Titanic with her. After it was over, with tears in her eyes, she asked what I thought. Without hesitation I said, "I've studied for the Bar exam, taken the Bar and had 3 surgeries. But I want those 3 hours back". We didn't last another 24 hours. The statement was true. Still is. We do not have the luxury of time. Money can't buy it, power can't buy it, and you can't barter or steal it. So start your experiment by doing this - go in to your phone's settings to see where you spend most of your screen time. Then compare that time with what you were doing - were you on that site for work purposes? Was it improving your life in some tangible fashion? Were you learning? No? Then why the fuck do you spend so much time on them?
That question leads to the next step - take a no bullshit look at your life, your goals, your passions, your relationships, your job, your sport. We say we want all these things, we want to achieve much, we post that to our Instagram with some staged selfie to ensure others we are working on "crushing our goals!" But if those goals are so important, then why do you have time to post about them? And why do others need to know? Who honestly gives a shit? We fear hustling in silence because if we do, we think the world won't notice. We cannot stand the thought of dialing in the moment we are in that we need distraction, attention, approval. Which is why we struggle with chaos or volatility. It requires us to be laser focused on what we want, what is happening, how we are processing information, and what we learn. We fear we might not want the stuff we say. We fear being exposed. I did. Until I stopped giving a shit about making my world perfect. Until I appreciated the fact that life is messy, unpredictable, chaotic, and absolutely beautiful all at the same time. Until I realized that true growth comes from the gut wrenching discomfort of hard times, hard conversations, hard realizations. I wasn't as great as I thought. I didn't know everything, hell, I didn't know much at all. I was seeking perfection because I didn't want to fail. But I was failing in living. So I sought the discomfort of failure. Repeatedly. This meant doing things regularly that I hated. Until I no longer did. Because those things were the necessary elements to be successful. Which carried over to the next step.
Once you have that talk with you, be honest about what you are willing to do, how far you are willing to go. In essence, are you prepared to be really uncomfortable for an extended period of time. I live in that place. Trying to expand our podcast, teaching classes, coaching athletes, constantly taking classes or seminars to learn more about the body and our limitlessness, training for races, overcoming injuries, focusing on being the best dad possible, the best brother, the best son, the best friend, the best coach, the best athlete. There are some real sphincter tightening moments every week, that I can assure you. Instead of bemoaning them, (something I did way too frequently) I now charge ahead to see how I will overcome. Because that is the sweet spot of growth. Life will happen whether you actively participate or not. It doesn't care. Your life isn't judged by the number of likes your most recent post got. Trust me. Which leads me to this -
WOULD YOU STILL DO WHAT YOU ARE DOING IF NO ONE KNEW? If there was no one to tell your daily routine, and I assure you, training hard, when you said you wanted to do well is part of the routine, it doesn't come with a fucking medal; would you still do it. If you couldn't post about your last run, bike, swim, met-con, or whatever other bullshit, would you still work as hard? Would you even want to keep doing it? Ask yourself that last question. Be fucking honest. If you don't, then walk away and find something that speaks to you on THAT level. The level where it is for you, regardless of accolades or notoriety. Because those are the things you'll bleed for. You'll sleep over. You'll throw yourself head first into, never fearing failure. Only fearing not giving it your absolute all. You will be able to navigate the volatility of life significantly easier when you have purpose.
I have, in my life, done some things half ass. Been a half ass partner, a half ass athlete, a half ass employee (past tense). I don't regret that, not anymore. Because I have the things that I'd die for in my life now. So I'll keep going to the dark places where building something better is tough but so worth it. The question is, will you? Can you be honest enough with yourself to find out?
Stop wasting time. Stop waiting for someone else to tell you what to do, who to be, what to love. Get a pen and paper. Write shit down. Look at it. Then act. As if your life depends on it. Because honestly, it really does.
Stay strong,
Guy
