So, as most of us who live in the Midwest, where winter, is starting to really cause me to lose my sense of humor, are all too familiar with spending countless hours riding on trainers in order to get ready for when the first, and last day of spring hits, and then it turns 90 and humid. I guess maybe there is something to global warming, but, this winter isn't evidence we have been using enough aerosal cans. Where is the Aqua-net when you need it?
Anway, I have discovered that while training inside, I have worn thru my favorite movies, favorite Tour DVD's and even some movies I only kind of liked. So, what does one do in these situations? We turn to our cable channels to help kill the tedium. And it was in this time that I made the realization, that there are more than the 2 simple truths in this world - its no longer just death and taxes. I have found that no matter the time of day, day of week, week of month, etc., you can bet on some basic cable channel, there is either a Steven Segal movie, or a Samuel L. Jackson movie on. No question about it. 2:13 pm on a Tuesday, its "Marked for Death" or "The Negotiator" or some other mind numing film starring one of these 2 The only thing worse, would be both of them in a movie together. And I like Samuel L. Jackson, but "Snakes on a Plane" while you are trying to pretend that you are on the open road doing your 4th tempo interval in your half-finished basement, makes me want to impale myself on my aerobars. As if its not bad enough I am sitting in a pool of sweat, no fan, my sliding door cracked open, which is so great, as it sends small gusts of freezing wind right at my upper body, causing a chill to run through me, while watching a bloated, balding, and stupid Segal rehash the same character in every movie. I mean, we get it Steve; you were a karate expert, and fell ass-backwards into an acting career, but, with your constant weight gain, accentuated by your triple chin, we aren't buying the tough-guy act anymore.
And when exactly did CSI, New York , Miami, Little Rock, Criminal Intent, and Law and Order, SVU, SUV, SUCK, become a staple of TV? I can't believe I am saying this, but where is Jerry Springer when you need him? For all of you fortunate ones who aren't in this sport, thank your lucky stars you are not stuck getting saddle sores while sweat pours from every part of your body, as you are left with nothing to distract you from the pain, but this garbage.
So, write your cable providers and beg for better programming. Or, give me some suggestions of something better to watch. As we just got dumped with another 10 feet of snow, most of us will be inside this weekend, please, please send help. Otherwise, you may have some hate crimes coming.
