"Wow, I wasn't expecting that to happen". - My Ear, Nose and Throat doctor after discovering that my left ear drum had lost 20% surface area due to my last infection.
I'm not going to even address the fact its been a while since I've written to all 4 of you who read this. This time, got to get to business, b/c there is plenty to discuss. The above comment was made to me exactly 6 days before what would have been the biggest tri of my career, the biggest pro field fighting over a decent purse, and driving distance from me. But as you can probably deduce, losing that much surface area on your ear drum (or any body part for that matter) is not a good thing. Medically speaking - I was screwed. Well, it was slightly more eloquent than that but bottom line - no swimming for at least 6 months, the Toyota Cup series out of the question, leaving me with larger lats from lots of laps, and fairly wrecked hearing on my left side. Truth was, not swimming was the least of my immediate worries. I had to face something slightly more serious - permanent hearing loss.
Its funny how in less than 2 minutes your priorities shift, your emotions rock your body physically, and yet you sit back in that hospital chair and are given a moment of clarity and grace, just enough to help you make the best decision for you. Because its incorrect to call it a "right or wrong" decision. Its what is best for you, not the person next to you or the person down the street. So I allowed my doctor to put a small paper cover over the ear drum in the hopes it would start to heal, called a race director in Michigan and decided I was going back to duathlons for the forseeable future, starting with that weekend, July 31. Yes, Brian and Jen's plan was, get Guy fast enough to make a serious run for the Games in 2012. We had put in massive work lung-searing, eye bleeding work. But there was no reason to waste it, or mire in self-pity. Sponsor obligations had me on social media outlets explaining the news, and immediately the "poor you" messages came through. I would have none of it. The decision wasn't hard, it hurt, but that doesn't make it hard. There is always another avenue, another way to compete, to use your talents and gifts in a positive way. And sometimes it takes something tragic to happen to provide you that freedom to make those decisions. Some sponsors walked, which didn't surprise me, this is a business after all, and in our volatile economic times, sponsor dollars are tight, and those who race du's, especially on the pro level, recognize you better have a plan B to make sure you can eat and keep a roof over your head.
Its been 3 weeks and I've raced twice, 2 Oly distance du's which netted me a 3rd place overall, and an overall win. They didn't come easy, they actually hurt like hell, and I had a hell of a time finding my rhythm but in this last week as I prepare to continue my "racing every other week" through November schedule, I feel stronger than ever, lighter than ever, and all that anger and frustration is left out on the race course. Yeah, I'm angry, but in the middle of these 3 weeks was a reminder why I can't ever give up. On August 3rd, my grandmother turned 99, and we celebrated in her favorite style, pizza and beer, with just a few (60) family members at Home Run Inn Pizza, her favorite spot. She stood up before dinner and with a very calm and strong voice, she thanked all of us, expressed her love for us, and her thanks for seeing what she has been so blessed to see. And then she reminded all of us, it was never easy, that b/c of her inner strength, fire and drive that lies in all of her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and the stubborness of my grandfather (a huge Petruzzelli trait) she has reached 99 with grace, humility, optomism and hope. As I scanned the room, I saw it too, seeing my 2 year old niece trying to wrangle herself out of her high chair so she could wreak havoc on the room, as only Vive can, my cousins, fighting so many obstacles to reach new heights of professionalism, my parents, aunts and uncles, the lines of years of that same work ethic and sense of hope that a better future lies ahead etched in thier faces. And I couldn't help but smile and cry, realizing, I will never give up b/c its just not in my DNA. That may be the biggest gift I've been given by my family - that trait.
As we get older, I've realized things get taken from us, without our permission, and even in the best of health, we lose things that we took for granted. What's important to recognize is that you have the power to reclaim them. I was not going to stop being an athlete b/c I had lost some hearing and have a hole in my ear. That's nothing when considering what so many others have lost. Its a bump in the road, pushing me in a different direction. So I am back to viewing racing as "crossing one finish line is simply starting another race". And with that, I share my passion with my athletes, helping them see the potential in all of them - good kids who just need the right direction and the knowledge they aren't in this alone. I'm there for them, as any good coach should be. My rugby player came to me at the beginning of summer 20 lbs overweight, and no speed. This kid walked out of the gym last week, 25 lbs down, stronger than an ox, eating clean and had a swagger, a confidence that wasn't there before. It was obvious to others too, who were happy to see it, especially his parents. Suddenly, the idea that he "couldn't" was wiped out of his vocabulary.
It would be wrong of me to take credit for all this in solo fashion. I am where I am b/c of my "other" family. Brian, Doug, Jen, Kelly, Syn Martinez - who constantly tells me we are family, Patrica, Dr. Leighton, T.J Murphy, Richard Airey and the entire CFE Cali crew. A work in progress - that is all of us. And I am excited again to see what each new day brings, good or bad, b/c I know I will handle it, and constantly evolve into a better person and athlete. That's what it means to reclaim what's yours - never stay stagnant. Never believe you have done "enough". Mediocrity sets in, as does maliase, and then before you know it, 5 years goes by and you are not the same person, having lost years and your ability to grow. My gram isn't 99 b/c she sits around. She reads, she constantly is looking to improve herself, she is still evolving. My hope for myself, my families, and all who read this is that we all continue to evolve as she has.
Stay strong.
Guy
