"Lock it up" - Brian MacKenzie's advice on a daily basis to me, usually prefaced with some explicit language
I didn't want to write about this again. Actually it makes me even more upset to write about it again than it did the first time. I want to write about my 83 year old swim client who amazes me every day. I wanted to write about the great knowledge gained from the recent CFE cert I took. I wanted to write about this weekend's race and how good it feels to be back in the mix for overall titles in triathlon after an 8 year absence from the sport. How finishing 2nd overall on a hot Sunday morning with more strength and speed than ever was truly gratifying. But I can't. And its not just for me, its my observations that I want to share with those who read this blog and live a similar lifestyle; some wisdom so you don't fall prey to the same mistakes I made.
Its been a couple weeks since I last posted, and life has been, well, interesting. And that's not always a good thing, but the time has provided some deeper insight both in out of the sport for me. People closest to me know I love to live life fairly fast and keep busy. So last weekend I got a chance to spend some quality time with fans of CFE at a Crossfit Endurance Cert, providing more insight into the very specific details that make CFE work. And in the process, got to feel what I had a month ago in California - a sense of family. That sentiment was felt throughout the 40 plus people in attendance, and summed up nicely on Olympic Gold Medalist and attendee Eric Wunderlich's t-shirt - "We succeed because we are family". The notion that "we are all in this together" still means something in the Crossfit and Crossfit Endurance community, and maybe that's why we respond the way we do when we sense a supposed friend showing how unsupportive they really are.
A few days after leaving on a real high from the weekend, making new friends who are like family, and feeling strong going into today's race, I got an email from an old friend that I hadn't seen in a bit. She seemed displeased that my "lifestyle" was making it difficult to see me and perhaps I wasn't a good friend after all. In a few paragraphs it became clear - people who you think get what you do, but haven't experienced the lifestyle up close and personal, really have no clue the commitment, the dedication, determination and drive involved. This is not a knock against people like that, but its a cautionary tale to those of you who are dedicated to CF, multisport, CFE, because it is a lifestyle, not just a sport. This isn't something we just show up and do on weekends. We don't book tee times, we bust ass running, biking, swimming, lifting, eating like cavemen and cave-women; and in the words of Bruce Lee "Striving for perfection even though we know we won't achieve it".
Now, moments like these are uncomfortable. Its that "moment of clarity" where you have to decide to cut bait and run, or pretend to be someone you're not, trying to make everyone happy but yourself. Here's my advice and take it for what its worth - BE YOURSELF. Will you lose some friends b/c of it? Maybe. Will that suck? Probably. But realize, those people really weren't friends to begin with. Stop letting people in your life tell you that you are "weird" or "'strange" or "following a fad". If they haven't lived it personally or watched you go through the ups and downs of racing or crossfit or cfe, really seeing you bleed for your sport, then its a wasted conversation and wasted time. And for those of you who follow CF or CFE, you understand you aren't just making new friends, your making family. Think about that. 40 complete strangers walk into a certification and in less than 48 hours, the common bond of suffering for doing what we love creates an immediate sense of togetherness, understanding and eventually trust.
Personally, I only have a few truly close friends, and we talk pretty much daily, always pushing the envelop, exploring the highest levels of fitness for ourselves and others. Because the bigger and more important part of CF and CFE is paying it forward. The knowledge you gain isn't just for you, its to share to help others achieve something greater. If you don't, you've failed at the most critical part of what we do - teaching what we know to others. And I'm not talking about raking in mad money to share the knowledge. I regularly give advice, build a program for people who need help for free. Why? B/c watching someone light up when they are no longer in pain when running, or seeing how excited they get when they can jump rope, that's payment enough. And that's what family does. We don't charge each other for what we do, we do out of passion and love for what we do.
I know, I'm rambling a bit, but here's where I come out - I like my life, and I realize I am a constant work in progress be it in the sport, training, or in life. And we all are. But as we get older, we have less time for the bs of people who don't get it. So don't get sucked in to disconnected friendships or empty relationships. Rise above. Literally and figuratively. And its ok to be angry. It can be cleansing. Just make sure to channel it in a positive fashion. I know I took my anger and did just that today. And its why I led with Brian's daily advice - what does it mean? It means constantly make sure to clean house keep your focus, live fast, live loud and don't let anyone tell you different. Lock it up - clear your life of bullshit so you can really pursue your dreams, your passions. And the few minutes of sadness of losing a so-called friend will cause will be wiped clean when you are staring at a nasty hill for some gnarly repeats. That's when you can smile wide and shake off the past for good.
Stay strong,
Guy
