"If you are going through Hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill
I have been thinking about the above quote more often than not in the recent weeks. Not because my training is suffering, or my racing, actually, knock wood, those have been moving along pretty well. So, I'll start this blog with the good, and then get to the rest.
I headed out to Tennessee this past weekend for the Natchez Trace Duathlon, a short, but extremely hilly course, with top-level competition. I was a bit nervous about the terrain, since the Chicago winter only provided me 4 days of outdoor riding, but I had been training pretty hard, so I was hoping my fitness would carry the day. After checking out the whole course on Saturday, I knew that even though the race was short, it would play to the strengths of the most fit, so, I gained some confidence as I ran the single track trail for the second run.
Race morning arrived, and I was nervous as I saw the guys lining up to race. I just kept thinking about the advice of my coach - calm mind, watch your “get out pace” and never let up. The first run started out with a nasty climb for over a 1/2 mile, starting at 6% grade and kicking up as high as 19%. So, I let a couple guys go, figuring, they were going to gas early at that pace. Fortunately, I was right. By the end of mile 1 on the first run, I was sitting in 3rd, only 10 seconds off the leader. Got back into T1 and hit the bike, climbing out the same way we did on the run. But I felt strong, and spun up the hill on to the open road. As the bike leg progressed, I felt stronger and started to push the hills hard. I knew I had lost a couple places on the bike, but, not a lot of time. I stayed calm, not wanting to blow up with a closing 5K run. Whipped out of T2, and hit the single track.
It was muddy from the previous day’s adventure race, and the guys who passed me on the bike began to suffer as they sunk a bit in the mud and were tentative on the dry portions of the trail. I took a chance about 1/2 mile into the second run, doing a 30 second surge to pass 2 guys, and get into some clean air to get out of the trail. After 1.5 miles, we hit the road again, with a steady climb to the second mile marker. I saw 2nd and 3rd place, as well as first. With a mile to go, I wasn’t sure if they were hurting or not, but I knew it was time to go. I kept surging till I caught 2 and 3 as we hit the last 600 meters back to the park. I saw first place, but I was feeling the lactic acid taking its toll as the final climb on the run cut in to my legs. But, I crested and sailed down, feeling great. As I walked thru the finish chute I felt great, thinking maybe I should have gone harder, then after one sip of water and another step, I ended up vomiting in the nearest trash can. Thankfully, away from the crowd. I felt a bit better seeing the 3rd place guy having to be put on Oxygen after crossing the line and collapsing. You hate to see that, but thankfully he was ok.
I left the race feeling elated. I felt like I had made an impression, and it was a good one, more for myself than anything. I couldn't wait to tell family, friends and of course, my coach. I spent the long drive back doing just that. Then, I got home.
I have stayed silent on this topic for a bit, because, for better or worse, I keep a lot of things to myself, particularly when I am struggling with something. I don't like to burden others, and I figure that I am strong enough to work stuff out. And, that's usually the case. But over the last few months, as a team director I have been working diligently to get people on my team what they deserve, what they have earned and worked so hard for, the right kind of recognition. To put in modern terms, I was trying to show that, "No one puts baby in a corner." And being a bit naive and too trusting, I ran around trying to make deals, scramble for money, everything. I was given more empty promises and false hope than I could imagine. Every day for the last 2 months has been a roller coaster with these people. And for what? Only to discover, that they use your ideas, and your inititives to develop something without you, and completely neglect the people you are trying to help. I love our sport, but I have come to learn, the hard way, that the business end of it, is no different than any other major operation. The people who speak about promoting, "the growth of the sport - helping those who really need it, showcasing better talent" are leaving out the most important part - only if you are have no problem living without any moral code or ethics. I am not a sweetheart, not by any means, but, I would like to think that a person's word is still solid. Unfortunately, in this industry, from what I have seen, it means no more than a "hello". And that's a sad statement about what we are becoming as a society as a whole.
Some people have told me, "hey, what do you expect, these guys don't know how to see big picture, they don't care about the grass roots, the working man's/woman's pro, who is raising a family, while trying to go out and be tops in a pro field. They want glitz, they want hard bodies, and eye-catching story lines. They want hype." Well, there is plenty of that in this sport isn't there. At some point, and I don't know when, once the sport became more mainstream, all that talk about growing the sport at its purest level was no more than talk. Sure, local races grow by leaps and bounds, but who is really taking notice? And who is noticing the bright stars that are coming out of places like the Midwest? I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'll match the talent here against any other state or region in the US, and I'll always take Midwestern athletes. Hands down. From my coach to my close teammates, they are rock solid and damn good. I mean really damn good. And they deserve respect. They deserve recoginition, because not only do they train and race hard, they give back to this sport, as much as it has given them. They are mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters, raising families, and getting to start lines in International events and kicking ass. Truly. Without my coach, I would never be a pro athlete today. I'm positive of that. And if I didn't have others around me like Adam Brown, Tony White and Rich Swor, I wouldn't be as excited about every day of racing and training like I am.
So when someone asks why are you making yourself crazy to help your mates - because without even knowing it, they help me, just by being who they are. I'm one of the luckiest guys in the world because of them. And they flat out deserve better. So, I'll hammer the phones, I'll take the hits, because I'll be damned if people I consider to be family get denied what they deserve. I hope for those of you who are reading this, take a look around and be thankful for those people in your life like the ones I have. And I hope you take some time, to show them how much you appreciate them. Even in small ways, it means a lot. Whether we believe it or not, we are still all in this together. Just because its an individual sport, doesn't mean you got to where you are alone. Be grateful, be thankful and most of all, don't let anyone tell you you aren't worth it. At the next possible moment, you go out and shine, to remind them how wrong they are. Let them do the running after that.
Stay Strong,
Guy
