So, its Valentine's Day, and I have a few words. Before I get too deep into this blog, let me say, I am not a relationship expert, by any means. In fact, for the family members and freinds who read this blog, they will quickly point out at how awful I am at them. I have failed at more relationships than Elizabeth Taylor has. So, what qualifies me to write on the topic? Well, my experience in doing the wrong things, can help you avoid the same mistakes, and because its my blog, so I can write whatever I like.
Now, I know we are all aware as to what "holiday" today is, its been with us, since the New Year. We were barely getting over bowl games, when we started to get bombarded by jewelry commercials, or flower adds, or whatever else comes with this day. I have discovered that, for whatever reason, we need to announce holidays months before they actually occur, as if we will suddenly forget Christmas, or Thanksgiving. Thank God for Target, or whomever else puts out endless ads 4 months before the actual holiday, otherwise, I think a lot of us would be walking around aimlessly on December 25, not sure what to do.
Anyway, for those of you in relationships, and a multi-sport athlete, its time we got down to brass tacks. First, for my fellow 3 or 2 sport friends, if you are starting a new realtionship, and your new mate is not really aware as to what your sport entails, let today be the day you have the "talk." Now, we all know what "talk" I am referring to, its usually the one that occurs the day you are supposed to go to your girlfriend's cousin's wedding, for which she is a bridesmaid, and you have to get in a 5 hour ride, and waited until 6 am, day of, to tell her. We all know what happens next, lots of tears, bad words, complete shock, you might get a shoe to the head, or, up your, well you get the point. Here's the deal, the season is close, you are probably starting your build period, so, tell them now. Prepare them for what really happens. Don't sugar coat it, explain what its all about. If they are understanding, great, and if not, neither of you need to waste anymore time, and can part ways amicably. Trust me, that is far better than, coming home from that 5 hour ride, to discover your clothes in a burning inferno on your front lawn. Trust me, replacing a wardrobe costs more than buying those new race rims.
And that leads to the second part of the talk - explain how much this sport costs, not just in time, but in money. Your significant other may be thinking about a nice little getaway this summer, on a secluded beach, when you have already allocated your money to stuff for the sport, i.e. new Scott Plasma, new Blackwell Race Rims, new 2XU wetsuit; you get the idea. And your idea of a "getaway" means, open roads to ride for hours and trails to run, or, a bug race weekend. The thing is, if you aren't honest from the start, inevitably, you will both end up frustrated, hurt, feeling a sense resentment and alone again. You shouldn't have to hide your sport and everything it entails, because when you do, brother, when it does come out, oh, the tidal wave of aggrevation that comes with it, makes the sound of a pen in your skull sound pleasant.
Now, this is not all about you, remember. If your partner, after they take a collective deep breath, agree to stick it out, take them at thier word, but let them know, that if at any point, they can't deal with it, its ok. Not everyone thinks getting up at 4 am to race on a rainy Sunday morning is a great time. Be cognizant of that. But if they are staying with you, make time for them too. For example on this holiday, if they say they are supportive, get them a little something that will help them feel connected to the sport; a true part of it. Buy them some really cool casual gear from Sugoi, or any of the gear companies, that bears the same tag as your race kit. I am not suggesting to get them a tri kit and and a wet suit, but, look into some of the more fashionable and sport-like items from those companies. That way, they see you appreciate their support and want them to feel a part of it.
For those of you who are dating, are considering dating a multi-sport athlete, or are married to one, this is your day to show them how much you care about them too. Here's the deal though, don't buy us more gear, we have enough, and we will most likely get our own. Unless your partner asks for some, find him or her something fashionable to wear, that didn't come from the latest Cycling World catalogue. Multi-sport athletes, especially the more elite ones, tend to dress, on a regular basis, as if a race is going to break out at any minute, and they need to be ready for it. I am no different, I have found my 2XU long sleeve running shirts to be preferred wear, and the next thing I know, I am in racing flats, a technical t-shirt, and either jeans or running pants, as if I was walking up to the start line. So get that special athlete something else, a sweater, a shirt, jeans, something, anything, that is not made out of Dri-Fit material. And I have found it best to avoid discussing the bigger ticket items, like the bike. To avoid hate crimes on this holiday, don't ask if you special someone could use anything new for their bike, b/c the answer is always yes. Listen, I just got myself a new bike, all carbon, a real beauty, completely tricked out, but if someone asked if I needed something for it, I'd be all over it. We are tech junkies, so, avoid that, b/c inevitably that seemingly innocent question will have you pouring over websites or visits to the local bike shop looking at pedals, bars, stems, and cringing at every price tag. Trust me on this, you love each other, don't discuss the bike.
So, my dear friends, that is my advice for this Valentine's day. Is it going to work? Hell, I don't know, its never worked for me yet, but, maybe one of you will get lucky. Just remember, candy and flowers can be given any day of the week, you don't need Hallmark to remind you to get that special someone in your life a gift. You can do that anytime. But for this holdiay, try my advice, and maybe I will too. Happy Valentine's Day.
